"Now that I've been saved by love..."

Nope, it's not your imagination. I haven't blogged for the last week. The Duke and Duchess (Gma and Gpa Grady) were up for a visit and we all headed out to Panorama, BC (British Columbia, the Province next to us). I will be blogging about our trip this week, so I'll spare the details that will be much funnier accompanied by pictures. The pic above is a "timer" shot (I used the timer on my camera) while we were hiking/walking around the golf course and Toby Creek (funny story about this will come later in the week). You'll notice that Buck is holding on to Gma Duchess. She is a big fave.

Today's blog is actually more a description of the past weekend (Sept. 21 & 22) when RKZ and I attended our Adoptions workshop/seminar/strange mix of people looking to grow their families through adoption.

Friday afternoon's meeting was 1 - 8 and was, primarily to our minds anyway, a counseling session on infertility. There were around 30 couples I would guess; and the majority of these couples had/have/still do struggle with infertility issues. At one point during RKZ's small group (they separated us into groups and made us talk about our "issues"), RK said that he could almost "smell the desperation" coming off of the people. They had never-ending stories of numerous attempts at failed in vitro and miscarriages. It was quite sad, actually. But it was a little more sad to sit surrounded by real pain and bitterness that seemed very unresolved. One couple we sat near at lunch said that they will continue to try in vitro until they are chosen by a birthmother. The outright need for a baby was particularly difficult to be near. RKZ found the overwhelming need for control (of the couples) was more painful to him. We both left Friday feeling that maybe 7 hours of therapy was not enough for a few of the people. This entire session was hard for us to sit through as we are peaceful about all that's happened with us. We're actually quite excited about adopting and the adventure of it all. It's not our "second choice" - we have been convinced that we'd adopt ever since we took the Children's services classes in So. Cal before Buck came into the picture.

Saturday (9am - 4pm) was a bit better as it focused more on 'open adoption' and what that means. Open adoption is basically an adoption where the birthmom (or birth parents) maintain some type of relationship with the adoptive parents and the baby. The idea is that the child will grow up surrounded by both birth and adoptive families and their identity will never be in question (any more than it is for the rest of us who were never adopted). We were able to meet with a panel of a birthmom, the adoptive parents she chose, and their baby. The birthmom is a 21 year old college student - funny and very much a "take charge" person. She had just recently broken up with the birth father who was a participant in the adoption all the way through. The adoptive parents were friendly and normal. Their daughter was 18 months, beautiful and full of energy (a normal 18 month old, I'd say). The parents & baby see the birthmom every other month and send email pictures and cards as often as new parents send them to everyone. Although there are many variations of the amount birthparents see the adoptive parents and baby, this was explained as a pretty average situation.

It was a facinating class there at the end. The birthmom/parents choose the adoptive family based on letters and pictures and the detailed homestudy. There is definitely an element of "being chosen for kickball" in the entire process and our poor, desperate peers asked many questions all relating to "how do we get picked?" More control, I guess.

So, we're doing the paperwork now and the social worker said it could all be completed by Christmas. Then - there is just waiting. We are blessed to have Buck and also the peace of knowing we don't control any of it. But I did want to get it all detailed here on the blog - not just for you friends and family - but for us and our future baby/ies and birthfamilies. Just in case they want to see how the process was for us.