"Hello - is it me you're looking for?"

Just FYI, I did post earlier (in case you aren't checking every day), but I wanted to do a "Sunday evening upload" since it's been awhile since I posted (see earlier post) and because Buck sincerely misses all of his grandparents. I do have to say that my heart was very warmed by his shout out to Gma J without any prompting. He actually would have remembered everyone, but I thought it was nice that he included her all on his own. Sorry that his face is a mess - it's the traditional "pictures after yogurt dessert" which seem to take up the bulk of my photo space . I 'm a ridiculous mother, I know.
There will be posts all week - I promise to warn everyone before I just "sign off" again. It was a crazy 2 weeks here. Now, we are back to just our usual crazy.

That reminds me of a great quote from the movie As Good As It Gets: "Sell your crazy somewhere else, we're all full up here." Amen, Jack Nicholson. Amen.

"Now that I've been saved by love..."

Nope, it's not your imagination. I haven't blogged for the last week. The Duke and Duchess (Gma and Gpa Grady) were up for a visit and we all headed out to Panorama, BC (British Columbia, the Province next to us). I will be blogging about our trip this week, so I'll spare the details that will be much funnier accompanied by pictures. The pic above is a "timer" shot (I used the timer on my camera) while we were hiking/walking around the golf course and Toby Creek (funny story about this will come later in the week). You'll notice that Buck is holding on to Gma Duchess. She is a big fave.

Today's blog is actually more a description of the past weekend (Sept. 21 & 22) when RKZ and I attended our Adoptions workshop/seminar/strange mix of people looking to grow their families through adoption.

Friday afternoon's meeting was 1 - 8 and was, primarily to our minds anyway, a counseling session on infertility. There were around 30 couples I would guess; and the majority of these couples had/have/still do struggle with infertility issues. At one point during RKZ's small group (they separated us into groups and made us talk about our "issues"), RK said that he could almost "smell the desperation" coming off of the people. They had never-ending stories of numerous attempts at failed in vitro and miscarriages. It was quite sad, actually. But it was a little more sad to sit surrounded by real pain and bitterness that seemed very unresolved. One couple we sat near at lunch said that they will continue to try in vitro until they are chosen by a birthmother. The outright need for a baby was particularly difficult to be near. RKZ found the overwhelming need for control (of the couples) was more painful to him. We both left Friday feeling that maybe 7 hours of therapy was not enough for a few of the people. This entire session was hard for us to sit through as we are peaceful about all that's happened with us. We're actually quite excited about adopting and the adventure of it all. It's not our "second choice" - we have been convinced that we'd adopt ever since we took the Children's services classes in So. Cal before Buck came into the picture.

Saturday (9am - 4pm) was a bit better as it focused more on 'open adoption' and what that means. Open adoption is basically an adoption where the birthmom (or birth parents) maintain some type of relationship with the adoptive parents and the baby. The idea is that the child will grow up surrounded by both birth and adoptive families and their identity will never be in question (any more than it is for the rest of us who were never adopted). We were able to meet with a panel of a birthmom, the adoptive parents she chose, and their baby. The birthmom is a 21 year old college student - funny and very much a "take charge" person. She had just recently broken up with the birth father who was a participant in the adoption all the way through. The adoptive parents were friendly and normal. Their daughter was 18 months, beautiful and full of energy (a normal 18 month old, I'd say). The parents & baby see the birthmom every other month and send email pictures and cards as often as new parents send them to everyone. Although there are many variations of the amount birthparents see the adoptive parents and baby, this was explained as a pretty average situation.

It was a facinating class there at the end. The birthmom/parents choose the adoptive family based on letters and pictures and the detailed homestudy. There is definitely an element of "being chosen for kickball" in the entire process and our poor, desperate peers asked many questions all relating to "how do we get picked?" More control, I guess.

So, we're doing the paperwork now and the social worker said it could all be completed by Christmas. Then - there is just waiting. We are blessed to have Buck and also the peace of knowing we don't control any of it. But I did want to get it all detailed here on the blog - not just for you friends and family - but for us and our future baby/ies and birthfamilies. Just in case they want to see how the process was for us.

"Everybody Wang Chung tonight"

OK, the name of this post has nothing to do with anything.

I just read something in the Calgary Herald (our local paper) and I wanted to post the link here: Gender pre-selection gaining currency.

Now, my views on life issues are probably pretty clear to most of my dear readers, but I think that this article shows that many people will allow no boundaries on getting "what they want." This even includes children. There are so many things wrong with choosing the gender of a baby. Even people who don't include God in their decisions can understand that when humanity screws with nature (see the environment and wildlife which has been "introduced" to new places) it almost always ends badly. Why would we believe that choosing the genders of our children would end WELL? Just on the level of reasonable things, does "shopping" for the "perfect" child seem like a wise thing to do?

I am a selfish person. Really. I'm impatient and rude and I have a terrible tendancy toward gossip. I just wish that the people who are thinking of doing this would take a deep look at themselves and ask why they are motivated to do this? I can't think of one - truly valuable - reason. At least (as the article says), Isreal only allows this after a family has had FOUR children of the same gender to allow for a 5th of the other gender. Although I am against this in any form, I would be tempted to bend if the US/Canada wanted to allow for this same rule. I would be amazed if any North American family would have 5 children just to get that one gender.

And I can't help but wonder what will happen to those embryos that aren't the right gender? Now that's the ultimate form of "being left out of kickball."

What an interesting post as RKZ and I prepare to spend the next 2 days in adoption seminars/courses. And we'll take anyone they want to give us.

'Lost in this moment with you..."

The picture below is of Buck when he was about 1 week old. I barely remember him like this. It's funny that now I recognize parts of him that were always there in his personality. And he does still have those bowled (bowed?) legs. SDJ when she first came alone to stay with us in California. She's precious - but it's as hard to remember her like this as Buck like the 1 week old. I think she was in 4th or 5th grade here.
This is my surfboard by some nice waves in HB (probably the State Beach). I am having withdrawls from this life at the moment - and this picture sums it all up.
Whitey, our dog who died. Holy cow, I'm about to start playing Emo music and wearing really tight black jeans!!

I am having my own trips down memory lane recently. Pre-blog when people just had to ask how I was and I spent hours on the phone inadequately describing everything.

In case you are worried that this blog has spiralled into stupidity, you are totally right. Never second guess yourself again. I have become so busy lately that there has been no real time for pictures. No time for meaningful funny business.

Not even time to realize that yesterday was "talk like a pirate day" and I totally missed it. Arrrghhh! I guess my annual (one) installment from last year will be the only annual installment. I wonder if I can call it an installment then?

I have been spending time cleaning. We are VERY excited to have the Duke and Duchess tomorrow. RKZ is just back from San Jose, so in the immediate moment I am very excited to see him. Buck is excited to see the "blue car." He is as fixated on RKZ's car as RKZ is.

Next week, we're off to Panorama, BC. I will have many pictures when we return, so you've got that to look forward too :)

"The bear came over the mountain"

In contrast to the "world's longest post" from earlier today, there's this.

"Born to hand-jive, baby!"

OK - I just received this email (truth? about a month ago) from my neice, SDJ. I am answering it here and hoping that all of you readers will "comment" your answers as well. Today's is an "interactive" blog. If you're pressed for time, you can just answer the questions you like.

1. Do you like strawberries?
yes

2. What is your full name?
(edited for protection)

3. Who was your first best friend?
Jesus :) But probably, really, my mom.

4. What grade are you in?
I'm outta' grades baby.

5. Have you seen "The Notebook" over a million times
not a million - but, for sure, about 5. I own it on DVD.

6. Are you always online?
No (a lot, though)

8. Did you ever see "The Sound of Music"?
over a million times (way better than the Notebook)

9. Have you ever played the flute?
no

10. Do you like basketball?
Yes - college basketball or high schools that I care about (like coach K1 and Coach TK)

11. Are you a Phillies fan?
I don't care about the Phillies (yes, Sam, it's baseball)

12. Is your favorite color orange?
no

13. Do you know someone named Emily?
Only little kids and RKZ's grandma.

14. Are you cool?
Cool is stupid - being yourself is the most important. (Public service announcement for SDJ)

15. Do you like Rap or Rock better?
Country

16. Do you enjoy eating ice cream?
During, yes - after, no (I always eat too much)

17. Would you ever like to get plastic surgery?
no "i am beautiful no matter what they say!!!!" (I agree with Samantha & this is her answer. With a quote from Christina Aguillera)

18. Do you have a xanga?
I don't even know what that is.

19. Do you have more than three screen names?
I don't even know what that is.

20. Do you believe in aliens?
Like people from other countries? Sure.

21. Is the letter M in your name?
No - crazy, huh?

22.Have you ever laughed so hard milk came out of your nose?
yes. And juice and water and diet coke and wine and beer. I laugh a lot.

23. Are you a vegetarian?
No

24. What is your most overused phrase online?
In Christ or God bless (in emails)

25. Have you ever smashed your head against a pole and/or wall?
Not on purpose, but I'm not very co-ordianted, so probably. The car, for sure.

26. Do you know who invented the refrigerator?
no - was it Joe refrigerator?

27. Is your favorite subject in school math?
ew no...... i luv literature (I agree with Sam)

28. Who makes you smile?
Daniel and Shawn (and God, of course)

29. Do you miss someone?
I miss Samantha, and my mom and dad, and my brothers and all of my family and friends from California, Reno and Toronto - so you could say that, I guess.

30. Whats your favorite part of the day?
When Daniel is asleep and I'm hanging out with Shawn by ourselves.

31. Have you ever been on a plane?
yes. It's only fun with Daniel, though. He's a plane freak.

32. Favorite Band/Artist/Group?
U2 - Brad Paisley - the Bare Naked Ladies.

33. Were you ever in a play?
yes

34. Have you ever been camping?
I'm so glad that i can say yes (Also SDJ's answer)

35. Have you ever used the phrase "huh"?
I think 4 times in this email alone. It's the American equivilent to "eh?"

36. Do you have a crush on someone?
I LOVE SOMEONE WITH MY WHOLE HEART - Shawn Grady. Crushes are for wimps.

37. Do you have AIDS?
What a strange thing to write in an email. I hope not.

38. Do you believe in love at first sight?
"Love is a decision, not a feeling." - Mother Teresa. So I guess, yeah, I think I love everyone at first sight since I have already decided to love them as people who deserve dignity and respect.

39. Do you believe in fortune tellers?
Well - I SEE them, so I guess I believe in them. But I wouldn't go to one.

40. Do you like Hilary or Haylie Duff better?
Is Haylie Duff a real person?

41. Have you ever seen the entire Harry Potter series?
OF COURSE!!!!!!! i'm proud to b a "dork" RKZ (This is SDJ's answer, and I'm keeping it)

42. Can you recite lines from the "Lord of the Rings"?
The book or the movie? I mean, my Elvish rocks!

43. Are you normally labeled as a goth, prep, punk, etc.?
I am normally labeled as a "mommy." It's the epitome of cool.

42. Do you have the ambition to become a doctor?
I don't even have the motivation to take medication.

43. Have you ever eaten rice krispies?
yes.

44. What time is it?
1:55pm

45. What is today's date?
Sept. 19, 2007

46. What is the name of your best friend?
Shawn M. Grady and Jesus. I know it's a cliche - that's because so many people really believe it.

47. When was the last time you took a shower?
This morning with Daniel and we sang "Old MacDonald" while I put conditioner on my hair. Glamour.

48. Have you ever seen "Stand By Me"?
uhhhhh no but i think i've heard of it (this is SDJ's answer, and I find that VERY sad). I have seen it about 10 times, I'm sure. "Pez - Cherry flavored Pez - no question about it."

49. Are you a Star Wars fanatic?
I really like Star Wars. I always forget and then watch one of the movies again (the old 3) and I love them.

50. Are you a Celtics fan?
I like the floor in their gym.

51. Have you ever seen the movie "Rent"?
No.

52. Do you have braces?
No

54. Did you ever have braces?
Yes, about 3 years ago - and I looked gooooood.

55. Do you eat breakfast daily?
Yes. Cereal. Always cereal.

56. Have you ever spent the entire day watching Animal Planet?
No.

57. What kind of shirt do you have on presently?
A tank top and a hoodie. It snowed today.

58. Did you ever ride a horse and/or donkey before?
yes. Both.

59. Do you believe in unicorns?
Believe that they exist? Uhhh, no.

60. Do you have AOL, MSN, Comcast, NetZero, or PeoplePC?
I have a mac.

61. Do you know a person named Kyle?
yes.

62. Do you like someone?
I like a lot of people. See the "crush" answer for this one.

63. How many boys do you have on your buddy list?
What is a buddy list? (Seriously)

65. How many girls do you have on your buddy list?
Again - What?

66. How many times have you seen "She's All That"?
I think 3. They always play it on UPN or USA or one of those 3 letter networks.

67. Have you ever watched "Bring It On"?
Oh, it's already been broughten.

68. Do scary movies scare you?
Sometimes. The 1st Freddy Kruger (Nightmare on Elm Street) was the scariest movie I had ever seen when I was 14. I really love zombie movies, though. Don't know why. Maybe because I was a highschool teacher for so long (ha. ha.)

69.Is your favorite store Spencers?
Yeah, 'cuz I'm, like, 15 years old and need a game of "shot-glass checkers."

70. Do you have more than 100 people on your buddy list?
Again with the buddy list! What is this?

71. What is your GPA?
I think I got an A in diaper changing but I only got a C in sleeping through the night. I'm hoping to get at least a B in the making dinner department.

72. Do you know your IQ?
650,002 seriously. Check that out.

73. Are you intelligent?
I just spent about 15 minutes answering this, so I don't think so.

74. Do you think social studies/history is a waste of time?
"Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it." So, no, I think history is really important.

75. Have you ever participated in a Spelling Bee?
All of the time on my blog. I can never figure out how to spell anything.

76. Do you have a pet?
I really want a dog - but right now we travel too much.

77. Have you ever been in a racecar?
no (I have driven with my father)

78. Have you ever gotten down on your knees and barked like a dog?
Probably - but not in any kind of inappropriate way :)

79. Do you have a cell phone?
Yes, and it gets me in trouble because I'm not on the right plan.

80. Do you have friends?
I think so. You're all reading this, right?

81. Have you been to another state before?
I live in a different country. Here we say "province."

82.Do you like to doodle on your school books?
I doodle on everything. I like to doodle.

83. SDJ is making this question up: do you have a mac, apple, dell, or other????
(there were just question marks before SDJ came along :)
I have a mac

84. Do you watch the discovery channel?
sometimes - the Dog Whisperer is on this channel

85. Do you hate someone?
hate is a strong word (I ditto this answer from SDJ) I'm thinking that "hate is a decision and not a feeling." too.

86. Were you ever in the boy/girl scouts?
I don't think so. Indian Princesses and Indian Maidens. They aren't politically correct anymore, but they were really fun for me.

87. Do you have any siblings?
I have 4 of the most wonderful brothers anyone could ask for and their amazing wives (except for TK, who is just a wonderful brother). And I WOULD like a burger to go with that cheese!!

88. Have you ever been on a train?
Trains now control my destiny. I do nothing but "play trains" all day. I have ridden a train - and I know that I will again. and again. and again.

89. Are you getting annoyed with this survey?
YESSSSS!

90. What is your favorite kind of font?
Now, this is just getting ridiculous.

91. What is your favorite TV station?
REALLY? I don't think I have one. I love that I can PVR/DVR record the shows I love and not watch commericals or station advertisements.

92. What is your favorite radio station?
105.1 - it's a country station here in Calgary. I also still love KROQ in LA and listen to it on-line sometimes.

93. Do you like Frank Sinatra?
who??? (This was SDJ's honest answer - incredible).
I love Frank Sinatra.

94. Have you ever dialed 911 and then hung up?
Not on purpose.

95. Did you ever have detention before?
before what? I have had detention and it was not a very good punishment. I have given many more detentions than I ever served and that is how I always kept a very clean classroom.

96. Who's your favorite teacher?
Pope Benedict XVI - I know, you're getting sick of these answers. :)

97. Did you ever play volleyball?
Yes. I like volleyball even though I was not the world's most athletic girl.

98. What is your personal quote?
"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death. You gotta' LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!" from the play Auntie Mame.

99. Do you like oranges?
Whoever made this quiz has a thing about orange. But i like the fruit. Yes.

100. You've reached 100 you happy your done?
Yes. This quiz is silly and a bit boring. Sorry that you've read all the way to the bottom. Now answer in those comments!

"Double vision!"

I had to put this strip on in honor of my mother. Maybe, perhaps, all mothers. Today's is an old strip, but I can't tell if these are really old comics or if they are "memory" strips that are being created now pretending to be old. I'm sure that doesn't make sense.

It doesn't matter. I love For Better or For Worse (which has been my favorite strip since I was a teenager). I always knew it was Canadian, but it makes it extra special now (although it is set out East in Ontario).

If you can't really see the clip, click on it.

"you can have an adventure in a far away land"

Please note the date on this picture (right bottom corner). It made me laugh. I decided to go through some "trips to the past" using "never-before-seen" pictures of our family and friends. This picture is from Thanksgiving (American) in 2001. The crowd in this picture are now (almost) all tax-paying adults. RKZ's sister, HAB, myself (with the lovely double chins), Buck's cousin, Brady, RKZ, cousin Ryan and UNCLE. Amazing what 6 years can do to a crowd. We were a close family back then :) And for even more of a trip down memory lane, I think Patsy took this picture (ahhh - Ireland, we hardly knew ye - she'd love that).

Yesterday was a bit more of an emotional one as I learned that Clemmie's mom, Keaton's mom, Jackson's mom and Charlie's mom are ALL expecting babies. Yes, that's right - every woman in my mom's group is having a baby (with one. small. exception.) At least it didn't rain yesterday. See? I can find the silver lining anywhere.

"Aint nothing but a hounddog"

It's VIDEO time again (and yes, there is a terrible dirge of pictures available at the moment. This video is for a 2-pronged reason: 1. It shows how much Buck loves dogs, particularly our old dog, Bailey, who is living out his retirement years with Grandy and Grammy Grady (The Duke and Duchess). Bailey is obviously more happy with them than he ever was with us (Grady 2.0). 2. The Duke and Duchess are coming for a much anticipated visit on Friday!! We are very excited to see them and Buck has been beside himself making plans for airplanes and games. It's downright holiday mode here in casa de Grady.

This is one of my favorite videos. It's amazing to think how much Buck has grown and developed just since last December (I guess it is nearly a year ago now). Here, he was just begining to talk and understand - I contrast this with last night when he was pouring water over my head, eyes, cheeks and ears and saying each body part as he did it. He thought it was hilarious. I was just impressed that he could say each part and they say "Now...the other one."

On a final note, I would like to mention that there is SNOW in our forcast for Wednesday. Yes, you crazy people suffering through 90/32 and 100/37 degree weather, GET OVER IT and go put some flip-flops on for me.

"I don't wanna close my eyes"

Can you believe that I've stopped taking pictures like a responsible blogger? Also, I doubt anyone would want to see pictures of the grocery store we use (Safeway), Michael's (the craft store) or Wal-Mart. Speaking of Wal-Mart, as all bad mommies will every now and then, I ran out of milk after Buck had one glass. Thankfully, we've been limiting Buck's milk (he would only drink milk and never eat), and I was able to bundle us up and rush to the nearest Wal-Mart to replenish our supply.

Now, I know that I have commented about my aversion to Wal-Mart before, but I am still always amazed at how much stuff there is in the WM and how much cheaper it is than everywhere else. They had soy and regular milk on the same aisle and they had an entire bedset for Buck (he peed all over the old one and it must be washed) for less than $100.00 (unheard of value here in Calgary). I was also able to get our third potty seat (the kind that fits into the big toilet) which was recommended to me as the best type from a mother of 6 who is training her child concurrently with Buck. I was rather enjoying my WM visit since it followed Buck's most recent hair cut and he was happily gnawing on a sucker (they give these for good behavior, which Buck did not have, sadly). It was that elusive "perfect storm" moment at any store where Buck is quietly sitting in the cart, I can find everything quickly and it is not too expensive.

So, in my happy mood (and it was 12:30), I decided that we'd go for lunch to the convenient in store MacDonalds which happily blow hunger-enhancing air into almost evey WM. On a completely selfish note, there are only 3 foods that Buck will consistantly eat: Mac and cheese (Kraft dinner here in Canada), MacDonald's burgers and any kind of french fry. I was completely confident that Buck would finish whatever he was handed from this haven of MSG. Even as I write this, I know that my brother, Superman M, is beginning a diatribe on all of the cancer-inducing chemicals included in the later 2 food (I use the term loosely) items. In my heart, I know he is right. I know that MacDonalds creates an addiction for it's foods in our children. I know that it is hypocritical that I only ordered a yogurt parfait and diet coke while giving the fried foods to my toddler. I know that making a habit of this could ruin my child's nutritional well-being.

I know that he ate an entire hamburger without prompting and 1/2 of the fries (I only let him eat half). That my friends is nothing short of a miracle for my two-year old.

Sometimes I wish someone would put those chemicals into vegetables.

Just kidding, Superman M - sort of.

"You were always on my mind"

I didn't have a chance to write over the last few days. The girls' leader training was great over the weekend, but it is hard to start into the week without the weekend to "organize" everything. RKZ is the biggest help and so great to sacrifice his weekend for me and for Challenge as well.

Monday, Clemmie and her mom returned from Toronto and Buck and I spent some time at the park with them. Clemmie was literally screaming with happiness to see Buck. He was a little less obvious in his enthusiasm (he has a strange "shy" thing when people are too excited). But he was very happy to see his friend again. Tues was a meeting day - to review the leaders' training and discuss the next event - a retreat for girls 11 - 14.

So - with these pre-planned events, it was difficult to write about the important things happening in our world. 1st, my sister-in-law, Hoonka, who is 36 weeks pregnant, had mysterious pains and spent the night in the hospital over the last 2 nights. At first, we were all afraid that it was apendicities and that the doctors would need to remove both it and the baby (who was measured at 2 1/2 lbs only in utero). But, after an entire night of tests, they discovered that it was a strained muscle, which was difficult to diagnose due to the pregnancy. Very scary, but fine now.

Secondly, I wanted to post some pictures to just keep in mind the sacrifices being made in Iraq. It's such a divisive war, but that doesn't change the fact that people are giving their lives to help bring democracy to that crazy country.

[Borderline Political stuff next. Please skip if you are not interested :)]

I wanted to quickly comment on the General Petraeus testimony. I think it's great that the General has recommended a pull-out of the surge troops by August. I think that the American soldiers over in Iraq are doing a tremendous job, and it's great that many of them will be able to come home. Watching the news from here in Calgary, I am amazed at how partisan the decisions around Iraq have become. I am especially amazed (I watched the General's testimony) that people (Congressmen and women) are questioning the findings of the man who lives Iraq everyday (as well as the Ambassador). I guess it's growing up in a military family that I tend to trust that this man who is responsible for all of the lives of his soldiers wants what is best for them. I think it is especially sad that the General needed to stress numerous times that he wrote his own testimony - and that it wasn't written by some puppetmaster. I also think that the general American public needs to educate itself on the situation in Iraq better (as much as it can). I was not in favor of attacking Iraq in the first place (but I do think we should bomb the heck out of wherever we think Osama bin laden is hiding), but now that we're there, we need to take a responsible approach to how we leave the country - I especially liked how the Ambassador used the example that our own country didn't just become a democracy overnight. Also, there is the scary possibility that crazy Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will just "annex" Iraq if the US leaves. Uhhh...have you seen this man on tv? He's not what I'd call a "big fan" of the US. (and not just our president. Don't kid yourself).

In conclusion (ha), I just think Iraq is much more complicated than anyone wants to believe it is. I wish we weren't there. I wish the entire thing was over. But it's not going away - even if everyone just wishes we could "end" it. And we have to be adult in our response to all of those people - American or not.

Tirade ended. Thank you for humoring a woman who hangs out with a 2 year old all day.

"Doin' the best that I can"

He shoots! He scores! (if by scores you mean "to make tiny indelible lines in my baseboard").
Buck received a hocky stick and puck set for his birthday. Daddy relegated them to the basement.
This is Kent (across the street). The kids were playing a pick-up game of hockey and they had a broken stick just Buck's size, so they taped it up and let him shoot on the goal for awhile. Kent would lie down and let the ball go in (they use a ball in street hockey). Buck now plans to play for the Calgary Flames in 2027.

This has been one insane week. I am helping (well - others are helping me) to plan a girls' leadership training weekend which starts in about 4 hours. It's a 2 hour drive from here (1 1/2 in my car) and I am still running around trying to get things done for it. Buck and I just returned from picking up the t-shirts that we'll give to the girls. And I have to find someone to drop off the leader manuals with another crowd of girls who are coming up later.

Crazyness...craziness? [I looked it up - it's craziness] Look at the depths to which I have sunk. I can't even spell anymore.

I have been meditating (ha! yeah, right! who has the time?) on the amount of work it takes to "volunteer." I have been running around and Buck has been neglected all week in order for me to buy food, plan decorations and all of the extras for this small event. There should be about 19 girls and 8 adults - but purchasing all of the food alone has been an excersize in madness. Add to it the fact that many teens simply don't RSVP anymore, and I am in a quandary. I'm at that place where even if I'm missing something, I don't care and I figure that we'll all just have to live without it. Hopefully, I won't have forgotten something as essential as toilet paper (a lot of toilet talk on the blog these days). Anyway, the meditating included the understanding that I am doing more work than I ever did for any of my jobs (sorry, friends who taught with me). Different motivation, I guess. I do envy those women whose "volunteering" involves taste-testing lobster and crab to decide what to serve as a main dish at their gala. A lot different than needing to find an orange t-shirt and some glitter pens. O, the glamour never ends.

"Waiting is the hardest part!"

Gma J at Heritage park. We rented a wheelchair (mentioned earlier) and she pretended to like being pushed around in it.
Ma and Pa Joad with Buck on "the whip" at Heritage park. I don't know if this ride is made for this crowd.
"Hey! Having a great time getting woozy!"
Buck and Pa Joad getting on a ride that just goes in a circle with up and down dips. Ma Joad and I were on the car ahead of them. I was sick all day once it was over. Yuck!
Ma Joad on the same ride looking enthusiastic (I made her pose this way) :)
I love this picture. Gma J would sit on our back porch and read (and smoke) to get some alone time. Buck loved it because he could play with the sandbox while she was out there!
Aforementioned sandbox with Ma Joad.
Heritage Park Carosel.

In the interest of toddler science, I would like to describe my day to you (so far) - please keep in mind that it is only 9:15am here in Canada:

4am - woken to child screaming. Feel dead tired, pull him into bed with us. Both husband and child roll over into mommy. She is forced to lie with her head at the bottom of the bed just for space. Cold since covers can't cover feet if this would stifle child's head.

6am - woken by kiss from husband who is leaving. Very nice - Mommy able to flip back to the front.

7:20 - child wakes for the day (a nice, respectable time in contrast with previous months). Mommy attempts to keep eyes closed and ignore child. He begins pulling on mommy's hand with cries of "get up mommy!" and "Mommy, Done!" Mommy sends child to his room to get stuffed animals and bring them in, buying about 10 more minutes of sleep. Child still young enough to be fooled. Mommy is definitely not the woman mentioned in Proverbs 31.

7:30 - Mommy and child finally walk down the stairs. Take a detour to the large TV room to watch a recorded episode of Veggie Tales. Child not interested in animated vegetable humor, proceed downstairs around 7:40am.

7:40 - Have breakfast to ward off cries for milk which is consumed by the jug by husband and son. Buck - peanut butter toast and strawberries (Buck only decided he liked PB two days ago) and Mommy - a bowl of Golden Grahams (God's cereal, seriously) and a large cup of coffee.

8am - Barney begins. Today's episode was about rainbows. Child does not stop saying the word "rainbow" and wanting to see a rainbow - no logic of "needing rain" is absorbed by the child. Two seconds ago, child was crying for rainbows again. Mommy begins to hate Barney. During Barney, Mommy is answering e-mails.

8:30 - emails are not finished, but Child is finished watching TV. Brings the following toys to mommy insisting she play: a choo-choo train, a little people airplane, 2 books to read, a digger, the umbrella off of his little people airport and a stuffed duck (Daffy). Mommy continues to read email because she is a bad mommy.

8:40 - Mommy rushes child upstairs attempting to make 9am daily Mass. Child decides he would like to poop in order to get a Backyardigans sticker (stickers are the reward for pooping on the toilet here). Naked child is placed on Master bathroom toilet (his favorite). Talks....talks....talks....talks...Intereseted only in earning the sticker. Eventually spies his smaller potty across the bathroom, asks to be moved. Firmly planted on child's potty, with pee-pee gaurd in place, child proceeds to pee and then to pick up pee-pee gaurd and wave it around the room - spraying pee all over mommy (who, thank goodness, has sworn off showers for the duration). Then, child proceeds to say "big fart comin'!" and to make semi-accurate noises with his mouth and hand. Still, no poop.

9:02 - about 22 minutes later, dumped pee into toilet. Child flushed and washed hands (very important part of using the potty). Mommy doesn't remember to put diaper on child before he leans up against the sink...no too comfortable for toddler peeper. Again, not winning mommy of the year.

9:05 - In child's room to get dressed. Child more interested in Thomas the Tank Engine set and will not come over to mommy to put on shorts and shirt. Mommy threatens to take away Backyardigans sticker and then realizes that educational psychology insists that a reward once won should not be taken away. Mommy stops threatening but is still tempted seriously. Child ignores Mommy anyway. Mommy wrestles child away from train table, forces on t-shirt and shorts. Child cries entire time and runs to Harold the Helicopter immediately upon completion. Mommy says, "I'm going downstairs." Child continues to push trains around the track.

9:15 - Mommy decides to blog the first 2 hours of her day knowing that this is just the beginning. Starting to miss teaching other people's teenagers who can be punished (but who mainly just sit there sleeping). But, Child has his Backyardigans sticker and insisted to watch 1 show. Mommy has a blogging breather.

'I'm bold, bold as love"

John Mayer wrote this verse in a song on his Continuum album, which I own and sometimes disagree with even as he's singing. Oh well. That pretty much sums up both me and all of my opinions - even as I argue with them, I still enjoy what I consider crazy.

I love my niece, SDJ. We have a very special relationship that is both completely upfront and yet, somehow, symbolic in many ways that she won't understand for a really long time (I think). There is a special relationship between aunts and nieces, and I think SDJ summed it up the best when she attempted to tell me how she felt about me while visiting this summer: "You're not a mom - or not my mom anyway - but you're still an adult, so you know things and I can ask you and trust you." That last part I inferred since she sort of stopped at the "know things" but she's my niece, so I know what she meant.

I also understand this niece/aunt relationship on it's other side - I have an aunt, K, who I lived with when I first moved to Southern California (she also has a lovely husband, G). I would say that K's like a second mother to me, but I can't - because she's my aunt - a relationship that creates its own, incredibly special bond. K has supported me and encouraged me in all of my silly (and not so silly) dreams. She has made me a better person, a better Christian, a better mom, a better friend. Not a week goes by that I don't wish I were in K's house - at that giant wooden dining table - just talking about our lives and the lives of the people in our family.

So, it was incredibly touching that Buck received a GIANT box of the complete Thomas the Tank Engine set today for his 2nd birthday. If he hadn't been jumping up and down on it shrieking with excitement, I might have sat down and cried. There are moments that the reality of everything we left in California is really just too much.

I left an aunt there - as well as 2 brothers and their families, some amazing cousins, 5 really close friends and about 100 people with whom I have a hell of a good time.

This video records some of Buck's excitement about his gift. It's a bit long, but it also has a message to K & G. Love you.


PS - no fair trying to find out if you're one of the 5 friends. If you're reading this - I meant you.

"We're a happy family..."

These pictures are old - from Aug. 23, in fact - but I was so impressed that RKZ bought Buck a cake without any prompting. This was also a gift for mommy as it was ice cream cake (my favorite)!


It was so great to have the Joads down for the last week. So amazing how easily we get used to having live-in babysitting and playmates for Buck. He couldn't get enough of Grandma Joad or Grandpa and his "bus" (motorhome/RV).

Now, my big plan is to get "back to normal." It's ironic that it is the first day of school here as well as I hope to start living on a schedule again. I am always a little nostalgic as my closest friends (or their children) head back to another year of work. Work which I loved (most of the time). My work this year will be "getting back to normal," I guess. I am fairly certain that I will always live my life in the pattern of summer break and autumn (fall) returning to structure. It's just a different type of structure with a two year old.

Buck is trying to get my attention by handing me books and yelling, "Read, Mommy!" Some day he will definitely spend as much time on this thing as I do - just not today.