"If I ever lose my faith in you..."

us.
One of my sisters-in-law, Hoonka, told me that she makes sure she takes a picture with each of her kids whenever they are taking pictures so that if she were to die suddenly (terrible thought), they would remember her through pictures. Why is it that I can take pictures of other people, but pics of myself always make me look like a crazy "big-eye" person who can't hold her neck straight? Here is me and the boys at RKZ's company picnic.

Thunder takes his first bites of cereal. Daddy fed him - isn't Thunder a cutie?

A pirate with a Superhero complex. Buck is OBSESSED with Superman, Batman, Aquaman and the Green Lantern. Here, he is cross-dressing as everyone (with his eye patch no less).

"Two sleeps to Colorado" as Buck says each morning (he's counting the minutes and can't wait to see - The Quad, the fishing derby, Bailey the dog, Paige (for some reason she is his 'cousin-obsession' these days) and Grandma and Grandpa.) Tomorrow is his last day of Pre-K 3 (we got all the issues ironed out). Just had friends over for a playdate - want to pass out from being tired. Still need to pack and go upstairs to watch the Superfriends with Buck and Thunder. It's about to rain (afternoon summer rains, awesome).

RKZ and I attended a "marriage renewal" last night where the couples do a workshop/talking kind of thing and then we all renewed our vows. It was nice and romantic. The workshop part was actually very cool and even RKZ didn't want to kill himself during the entire thing. There were some good talks. I highly recommend it.

"If I were a boy..."

Gender differences :)

A WOMAN'S POEM:


Before I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more.Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?' I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

I received this in my email and it totally made me laugh. Of course, I sent it to RKZ right away. Wisdom of the ages, right there. Apologies for the swearing if kids read this. Not that they've never heard the word "shit" before. Or then, they don't know it's a swear word, like my kids.

Off to Colorado on Friday - CANNOT WAIT (but I can, somehow, put off packing when I know I should be doing it).

"Thomas the tank engine, rollin' along"

Thomas.
His best friend, Percy
Percy crossing an intersection
Buck fixing up the track
Me playing conductor
Proof that I actually play with my son :) We built a giant track around our kitchen island (Thunder was sleeping, not being ignored). We had quite the system going.

What a crazy week this has been. School will be over for Buck a week from today and I can't wait. It's been a good year, but it will be nice to have some time to just hang out with the boys. We're all SO EXCITED to go to Colorado next week also (10 days!) It seems like forever since we've seen RKZ's parents and Uncle and HAB's family.

quotation

Received this from RKZ the other day and wanted to save it forever here. Buck is asleep on the couch (just passed out) after a FULL DAY of playing. Thunder is asleep in his bed upstairs. I've officially tired them out (Yeah!)

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have."
Thomas Jefferson

"Rainy days and Sundays always get me down"

The similarities of the Grady boys:
Thunder isn't sure about the camera (our Angel in his Angel's gear)
Buck mad that mommy won't stop taking pictures.
They both finally get over it and flash their newest smiles!


It's raining today, after 2 weeks of sunshine, so I think it's affecting my mood. That, and the fact that we still aren't sleeping fitfully in our little home.

But, we've also recently had to really disappoint Thunder's birth mom (H). While open adoption has been a mostly positive experience for us, the one thing that has been really hard is that we never had the chance to sit down and discuss expectations of visitations and time that H & her family would get to spend with Thunder. In most books and articles printed about the subject, the strong recommendation is to get expectations IN WRITING so that both parties know what to expect and don't build unrealistic expectations (which is just human nature, I suppose). I realize that there are many differing opinions and realities in and about adoptions. We were generally very positive and totally up front about openness to a lot of contact. The problem is, "a lot" of contact is both vague and difficult practically-speaking when families live 8 hours from each other (and there really isn't any other reason to make the trip except for one person's need to see one member of the family). It is also difficult for a family of 4 to make an 8 (realistically 10 or 11) hour trip when comparing that to one person making the same trip as a young adult.

But, anyone who has ever known a young adult intimately will understand that being able to see "the other person's side" is not generally an adolescent trait. Especially when the young adult wants something very much. And if you have ever tried to rationally explain your reasoning to an intense adolescent, you will have a good idea of the emotions surrounding all of us right now.

RKZ and I are facing the difficult reality of putting our family's and child's needs first; but we so very much want to be authentic and fair to H. We really wanted to drive up to H's home for a special event in her life...it just seemed important that Thunder be there; but as we began to plan the trip, it became obvious that asking a 3 year old and and 5 month old to take a road trip for an event that they wouldn't understand or appreciate just to drive back 24 hours later was not realistic or in either of their best interests. Still, we had to tell H and it is obvious from her response that she is heart broken.

This is much more personal than I normally get on our blog, but we have been living through smaller but similar situations like this for 5 months now...and I just wanted to share that, sometimes, adoption is hard. It's still completely worth it and we are hopelessly in love with Thunder - but it's definitely emotional work too.

I'll admit it, I just like to make everyone happy. Guess that I'm finally learning that lesson :)

"Peaceful, easy feeling"

Check me out! I'm swinging!
Good times.
Daddy and Buck celebrate the play structure.
Today, Thunder is 5 months old. Can it be that time goes so quickly? Soon, it will be solids and sippy cups. Today, he's rolling all over his play mat and making gurgly, laughing sounds while he tries to suck on the rubber teething toys. I am making long-grained wild rice in the cooker and trying to organize our activities for the fall.

I re-read the novel "The Outsiders" today. We chose it for the neighborhood book club. I am a little ashamed to say that I actually cried during one part. I haven't read that book in years and it is just the sort of smaltzy teenaged angst that I love. It took me about 5 hours to read it cover to cover, which also helped. SE Hinton is such a good writer of teen fiction. I have made a pact with myself to read 1 book/week this summer instead of being sucked into silly summer TV shows. Add a few years onto my brain, as it were.

It's cool today (50's/12ish) after a week of warm weather. It is finally summer - RKZ finished the playground and the deck is next. Already had my first margarita of the summer with Joie! (she'll love that nickname). OK, I had my first 4 margs of the summer. Lovely.